death when you want to end it all.

DEATH

something people who hate do

talk about.

Other people are called freaks for liking it.

then when they asked me why am I one of them,

freak of nature, a lover of death.

People will say i am ill with a disease,

and other play it with ease.

but i take heed to what they say,

and never believe.

For i know what death is and how it feels,

i just called it heals,

Yes the angel of death would say.

Take me to a land far,far away i plead.

And he would swoop down and grab,

And my life would end with a flash of light.

I would journey with her to the night,

and never look back.

horse

in the chinese calender, i'm the year of the metal horse.Energetic, good with money and very fond of travel, Horses are the nomads of the Chinese Zodiac, roaming from one place or project to the next. All of this Sign's incessant activity and searching may be to satisfy a deep-rooted desire to fit in. Paradoxically, Horses feel a simultaneous yearning for independence and freedom.

and for my metal element. i'mdetermined, self-reliant and forceful. You enjoy the good life and all it has to offer -- luxury, comfort and freedom, especially. i'm like a reclusive film star: You want the acclaim, but you also want to be left alone. I create your own success, building your desired destiny with single-minded focus. Others look up to you in awe of your commanding, confident presence. While I,Metal individuals are strong and virtuous, I can be a bit set in your ways. No arm-wrestling with the metallic ones, either; they might break that appendage in two! You can be a stern taskmasters as well, demanding the most myself and those you love.

But on the flip side my western horoscope is the cancer,totally opposite of what the horse is in the chinese horoscope.

and hear what it say about me:

A crab is able to walk or run sideways. Similarly, Cancer natives can sometimes "move about" in life, in a figurative sense, in an indirect manner. The crab's body is covered by a carapace (shell). Cancer natives are self-protective and sensitive, and often retreat into themselves when hurt. Crabs are able to resist changes in the environment, thereby protecting themselves from hostile elements in various habitats. Similarly, Cancer natives are thought to avoid too much change, and to be on the defensive. Crabs have "complex behavior patterns" (1). The inner world of Cancer natives is thought to be rather quirky and complex. Some crabs "conceal themselves by decorating their bodies with plants and animals" (2). Cancer natives tend to try to blend in with their environments, preferring not to make a big splash in life.
Cancer's glyph, or symbol, may represent the breasts as a symbol of the nurturing qualities of the sign.

shadow of nothing

family means in the wikipedia:

Family denotes a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, and co-residence. Although the concept of consanguinity originally referred to relations by "blood," many anthropologists have argued that one must understand the notion of "blood" metaphorically, and that many societies understand 'family' through other concepts rather than through genetic distance.
Many sociologists and anthropologists believe the primary function of the family is to reproduce society, either biologically, socially, or both. Thus, one's experience of one's family shifts over time. From the perspective of children, the family is a family of orientation: the family serves to locate children socially, and plays a major role in their enculturation and socialization. From the point of view of the parent(s), the family is a family of procreation the goal of which is to produce and enculturate and socialize children.[1] However, producing children is not the only function of the family; in societies with a sexual division of labor, marriage, and the resulting relationship between two people, is necessary for the formation of an economically productive household.
A conjugal family consists of one or more mothers and their children, and/or one or more spouses, usually husbands. The most common form of this family in the western world is regularly referred to as a nuclear family.
A consanguineal family consists of a mother and her children, and other people — usually the family of the mother, like her husband. This kind of family is common where mothers do not have the resources to rear their children on their own, and especially where property is inherited. When important property is owned by men, consanguineal families commonly consist of a husband and wife, their children and other members of the husband's family.
A matrifocal family consists of a mother and her children. Generally, these children are her biological offspring, although adoption of children is a practice in nearly every society. This kind of family is common where women have the resources to rear their children by themselves, or where men are more mobile than women.

And I should treasure that, family bond.

disney fairies

with grace comes fleet to the sky,

I just made that up, but I really like fairies, they are sexy and small girls and some boys, who had wings of a fly or butterfly or nature, they have or don't have pixie dust. the confusing fairies are the Disney fairies , how the hell does fairies have pixie dust that help no only the person who touch it fly ,but the fairies them have power from it. It so weird, i don't like it, but who cares!!

I went to Disney to see Tinkerbell because I love her, why because she the only damn girl who is not a princess or Main character in a movie, (well she has a movie in 3-D, coming in fall where she has to get her pixie dust and build a new pixie hollow tree where all the fairies stay). But unfortunately she was not there but i got see the rope she "flies" on from the castle to Tomorrow land. Well, my other goal was to knock Cinderella off the Magical kingdom castle, but she came and stayed down there. THAT BITCH!!! watch next year for my 19th birthday, I'm going to kill her because she made me believe that you can talk to rats and wish for Godmother who grant your wishes. But to make matter worse she comes out with a 3rd movie where she fight for her freedom without magic because the evil stepmother stole her godmother's wand. I think it was more like a racist movie on, who the slave free her for her evil master, but they wouldn't say that.That why there is not black, Jewish, or people who are not Chinese,N.America or Europe princesses or anything for that matter, and Lion King does not count because it was about animals. Just because Walt Disney was racist bastard, toward Jews in particular, shame.

And don't make me get started on why there only black Africans in Animal Kingdom, and no where else. Anyway here is two pictures, one is my Disney fairy and anti-Disney.

funny

Today is a funny day, i had slept well in three due to my depression. I was woken up by my sister, tell me to get to school. I just want to sleep. To top it off i fell asleep in my bathtub with the shower on. I came out a hour later and I leave my house by 7.30am ,which mean that breakfast in school by the time i get there would be closed. I got there on time for school but the breakfast was over. Then Home Room or Advisory in my school, has it first separation into three groups, people how's passing everything (they get the movie room where they watch movies, and the chat room where they just chat and talk to their friends) and there the people who are not passing and have to go to the study room to study,and do homework.

In third period, i was losing my mind over not eatting and not getting enough sleep,then a girl asks me to type her essay for her, so i accepted it, i needed the money.Everything till 7th period was a blur to me, i remember 7th because i had to go home. But i decided not to and when with me friend to Dunkin Donuts to buy a latte for Free!! Sweet,huh, i never one before and i hate coffee but i was soo tired and thirsty for the walk that i drank the whole thing, i felt so energized that i want to run a marathon but my legs hurt too much.But as soon as i get home 4 hours later I'm back to my own tired,sleepy self, stupid lattes, i should have name this post stupid latte.
I liked the feel of the coffee but i had the latte with no sugar so it suck for me.
i love these mini-teen adventures , it make you want to go to college to have your first college adventure.

me

a be

Name :	cherice
Nick Name :	CJ
Birthdate :	june 30
Birthplace :	new york
Current Location :	brooklyn
Eye Color :	brown
Hair Color :	black
Height :	5'5
Weight :	149
Piercings :	0
Tatoos :	0
Boyfriend/Girlfriend :	none
Vehicle :	none yet
Overused Phrase :	oh shit!!!
FAVORITES
Food :	veggies and seafood
Pub/Disc/Restaurant :	none
Candy :	chocolate and chewy candy
Number :	7
Color :	black, red,blue
Animal :	cheetah and bunnies
Drink :	juice or water
Body Part on Opposite sex :	lips
Perfume :	none
TV Show :	simpsons
Music Album :	none
Movie :	horror and romance and adventure
Actor/Actress :	none
This or That
Pepsi or Coke :	hate both
McDonalds or BurgerKing :	Burger knig they had veggie burgers
Chocolate or Vanilla	vanilla
Hot Chocolate or Coffee :	hot coco or tea
Kiss or Hug :	kisses
Dog or Cat :	both
Rap or Punk :	is this a question?
Summer or Winter :	winter
Scary Movies or Funny Movies :	both
Love or Money :	the love of money
YOUR...
Bedtime :	seriously
Most Missed Memory :	when i met all my hs friends
Best phyiscal feature :	my cures shape
First Thought Waking Up :	more sleep
Ambition :	to be the best
Best Friends :	the late nina wright
Weakness :	kisses
Fears :	viruses
Longest relationship :	3 months
HAVE YOU...
Cheated Your Partner :	no
Ever been beaten up :	yes
Ever beaten someone up :	yep many times
Ever Shoplifted :	once i was 6, i don't know what i was doing
Ever Skinny Dipped :	no
Ever Kissed Opposite sex :	no
Been Dumped Lately :	yea
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color :	any
Favorite Hair Color :	any
Short or Long :	long but short is sexy too
Height :	any
Style :	any
Looks or Personality :	the best for looks and personality is any
Hot or Cute	both
Muscular or Really Skinny :	both
RANDOMS
What country do you want to Visit :	japan and Italy
How do you want to Die :	of old age
Been to the Mall Lately :	yea, last week
Get along with your Parents :	yes just not my dad
Health Freak :	YES
Do you think your Attractive :	hell yea
Believe in Yourself :	YES
Want to go to College :	i'm already in college
Do you Smoke :	NO
Do you Drink :	socially
Shower Daily :	yep that a must
Been in Love :	Yes
Do you Sing :	yes
Want to get Married :	yes( not now)
Do you want Children :	yes
Age you wanna lose your Virginity :	why do you have to know
Hate anyone :	dislike yea, hate no
Take Survey	Create Survey

repair a broken heart

I hate seeing something i can't have because it's there and i don't have it.It's fall in love with someone, preferred a man, but i can't have one because I am depressed tressed and tired. No time for him and his problems, I never fell in love with anyone ever.I would like to, to see how it feels to know that "hey I am in love with you, and i can't help it"I tried online, i hate that because the men wanted to me to send them nude pictures of myself.I also have never been on a date. I would love to try on.
But I have my heartbroken and mistreated or taken for a granted by my friends and family. At time its overwhelming and I can't break free.But other times it puts me to the point of suicide, and like other people say there are best ways to deal with your issues than cutting, burning,destroying yourself and objects.
So i have decided to fix this problem by reading, yep...that right.. reading!! Reading about all the things that happened to other people and learn for them. I will prepare myself by listening and understand what people say when asked about this topic.If this didn't work then i can more on to my first plan to just wait and hope for someone to come that i would love.

Hollywood is not america

I think this song has more meaning than it portrays, it shows that what you see is not what you get that times. In Hollywood, they show people in the best shape and best life in the world. But what people don't see that craziest and the struggle just to be up there with the best.

hell and heaven

the hell and heaven the two most powerful places, on the mind of a human other than dead.
to me it just a other to scare people in becoming "good" and they in themselves would go to heaven or hell. I guess that the way people think things, and they would for the rest of their lives. I, personally think that there are many ways, that you can view this concept I think of it,as hell is a better than heaven. You don't get that Churchy feeling and the angels are beyond human powers from God himself.

welcome

I'm a junior in college, 21 yrs of age, loves to do things differently. I don't like to get my hopes up then scattered to the ground, break-ups, chick-flicks and whatever other people bitch about. I love parties ( who doesn't), food and having a good time as long I can remember everything that going on. I'm single and interest bisexual more on the man side though. I want to know beyond New York, to the world, maybe marry.

where ever the wind blows, I'll be there following it. that me below, I don't have the braces anymore