repair a broken heart

I hate seeing something i can't have because it's there and i don't have it.It's fall in love with someone, preferred a man, but i can't have one because I am depressed tressed and tired. No time for him and his problems, I never fell in love with anyone ever.I would like to, to see how it feels to know that "hey I am in love with you, and i can't help it"I tried online, i hate that because the men wanted to me to send them nude pictures of myself.I also have never been on a date. I would love to try on.
But I have my heartbroken and mistreated or taken for a granted by my friends and family. At time its overwhelming and I can't break free.But other times it puts me to the point of suicide, and like other people say there are best ways to deal with your issues than cutting, burning,destroying yourself and objects.
So i have decided to fix this problem by reading, yep...that right.. reading!! Reading about all the things that happened to other people and learn for them. I will prepare myself by listening and understand what people say when asked about this topic.If this didn't work then i can more on to my first plan to just wait and hope for someone to come that i would love.